Traffic lights bring unique reactions

Not all "Where's Bernie?" columns are built the same.

Most involve interesting people and places I run across.

Then there's one like today.

This one takes place at several traffic-light intersections.

Every time I see a red light ahead while I'm driving on a multi-lane road, I look to see if there's an 18-wheeler ahead of me.

If there is, I make sure I'm not in the same lane because it takes an 18-wheeler longer to get going again after stopping at the light.

This strategy probably saves me approximately zero minutes on a trip, but I feel like I'm making headway by doing it.

Which brings me to today's column. I was wondering if other drivers have any traffic-light quirkiness about them. So I've been spending much of today's journeys paying close attention to how others act at traffic lights.

Here are the things I noticed:

I'm not the only one who has that momentary panic-filled look of "What do I do?" when at the "point of no return." That's the point when you have to decide whether to (A) stop suddenly or (B) keep going through a yellow light.

Some choose Option C. This is when they make the decision, then change their minds, then decide the original way again. I can tell this by their brake lights that keep coming on and going off.

There's a breed of drivers out there who have this devilish look as they approach a red light. They wait until the last possible moment before stopping in hopes that it turns green so they won't have to go through the excruciating exercise of applying the brakes.

Many drivers have this traffic-light thing to a science. When they sit at a red light, they don't look straight at the red light. They look at the traffic light in the lane that crosses. That light is green. The moment it turns yellow, the scientist-like driver at the red light lets off the brake, knowing the yellow light at the crossing lane means the red light at their lane is about to turn green. This allows the vehicle to coast forward, thus giving him that head start of a few feet.

A few drivers will not go when the light turns green until the driver alongside them starts to go. I don't know if it's a courtesy thing or what. It gets really entertaining when the driver alongside the other driver also is one of those "wait for the other driver" people. They sit there and look at each other. The drivers behind them look at them, too. Hoo-boy, do they look at them. I mean those are some interesting looks they give.

There are a handful of drivers out there who apparently have their hand on the horn, waiting for a light to turn green. Then they honk immediately, to show off their fast honking ability.

The biggest entertainment is when all of these types of drivers come together at one intersection. Often, the next lights you see in those situations are the ones atop the police car and ambulance.

Staff Writer Bernie Delinski travels aimlessly throughout northwest Alabama and southern Tennessee in search of ideas for "Where's Bernie?," which appears Mondays in the TimesDaily. He can be reached at 740-5739 or bernie.delinski@timesdaily.com.