America the busy

U.S. citizens yearn for free time in hectic lifestyle

Illustration by Alex Eben Meyer/The New York Times

By Bernie Delinski
Staff Writer

Published: Monday, April 21, 2008 at 3:30 a.m.
Last Modified: Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 11:04 p.m.

"There just aren't enough hours in the day."

Tips for staying sane in a busy world

Sacred selfishness: Author Bud Harris coined this phrase. The concept is that we should make time for ourselves so we don’t get burnt out. If we’re burnt out, we can’t be as effective for others or on the job.

Control the phone: Don’t allow it to control you. You don’t HAVE to take all calls if they aren’t urgent matters. It’s OK to screen calls and return them when you’re able. Here’s a hint: Return them right before lunch or quitting time, when the person on the other end of the line is ready to leave. That shortens the call.

Delegate: But remember, you still are responsible for making sure the work is done.

Two letters: N-o: It can be hard to say “no,” but don’t be afraid to do so. Don’t just say “yes” in order to avoid others’ disapproval. A “no” answer is nothing personal. It simply means, for various reasons, you can’t make the request a priority right now.

Prioritize: If you make a to-do list, prioritize it so you don’t end up with a long list of things that make you feel that they must be done right now.
Source: Samuel M. Natale, a professor of strategy at Adelphi University’s Hagedorn School of Business, in Garden City, N.Y., in the 2004 Regent Business Review

Does this sound familiar, as in, you find yourself saying it a lot?

If so, you may be among the 58 percent of Americans who are likely to skip lunch.

Or the 52 percent of American workers who say they'd sacrifice a day's pay each week in exchange for another day.

It's not just office life. Home duties alone can have you wondering what free time is like.

A 2007 survey reveals nearly half of us are more stressed than five years ago.

Muscle Shoals residents Paul and Michelle McGuire know that busy feeling. Michelle has trouble finishing a sentence without her children - 10-year-old Katie, 7-year-old Travis and 2-year-old Lindsay - calling for her.

"I hear 'Mom!' I don't know how many times a day," she said.

Petersville residents Kevin and Kim Trousdale understand. With a 4-year-old son and 8-week-old twins, "there's not a whole lot of time," Kevin said. "We're pretty much doing something all of the time."

Somehow, America became an extremely busy society, perhaps too busy.

On his Web site, crazybusylife.com, psychiatrist Edward M. Hallowell, author of "CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap," tells a story about meeting a juggler.

The juggler could keep six balls going at once. Hallowell asked him if he ever considered adding a seventh. The juggler's response: that would take too many hours to learn, and he doesn't have the spare time to do so. Besides, the juggler points out, he does so much with six that the audience stays entertained enough not to ask about a seventh.

Hallowell said we can learn from the juggler: Don't try more than you think you can handle, especially if you don't feel like you have time.

"You can feel like a tin can surrounded by a hundred powerful magnets," Hallowell stated in a 2007 article in The New York Times.

By that, he means too many people are pulled in too many directions at once. His solution: Reduce the amount of magnets whenever possible, so you - not the magnets - have control.

Sometimes, modern technology helps us reduce stress by having conveniences such as cell phones. Other times, those conveniences add to the stress. On top of that, we become reliant upon those conveniences.

Mike Melton, director of the Colbert County Emergency Management Agency, always is on call because of his work, and likes that the cell phone allows him freedom to go anywhere and still be available.

"I don't know how anybody survived without cell phones," he said. "It would be hard to go back to the way it used to be."

At the same time, he said, "theoretically, cell phones are supposed to make it easier on all of us. But when is enough access too much? When do you want to have your own time?"

In the Times article, Hallowell lists several reasons we find ourselves trapped in an overbusy world. Among them:

easy access with cell phones and BlackBerrys.

fear of being left out if we slow down.

in a nation where it's common to be overly busy, we don't know how not to be busy.

it's a sort of "high" and a status thing to be that needed.

Sometimes, we can't or don't take advantage of our own down time. The Times article goes on to share a survey by the nonprofit group, Families and Work Institute, which states that 36 percent of employees don't plan to take their full vacations.

Hallowell said we work 160 hours more per year than we did in 1960. At 40 hours a week, that's an additional month of work every year. He said a 2007 American Psychological Association reveals Americans are 48 percent more stressed than in 2002.

A 2003 study by a group called The Center for the New American Dream was made with a group that organizes "Take Back Your Time Day." According to the groups, the average American works nine weeks more than the average Western European worker. That means, according to the organizations, if the average American and Western European were to work the same amount of days from Jan. 1 through Oct. 24, the European would have the rest of the year off.

A 2005 survey from Smoothie King revealed that 58 percent of Americans ages 18 to 54 skip lunch. Of those who take lunch, 43 percent spent 15 minutes or less.

In a release from Smoothie King, the survey shows the results of those habits: Nearly half of all Americans are likely to eat between meals, one-third overeat during the next meal and one-fifth feel nauseous or have problems concentrating.

A New American Dream survey showed that 52 percent of American workers would be willing to trade a day's pay per week for an extra day off.

It also revealed that 83 percent wish they had more family time.

What can be done? Sometimes, you can talk to your employer about flex time or other alternatives. Paul McGuire owns a construction company and Michelle McGuire is a mortgage lender. She is able to schedule her work so that she can pick up her children from school.

The McGuires stay busy, but say much of it is for the children's benefit. "That's what our lives revolve around," Michelle said. "It's ball season now. But it's fun doing things that they enjoy."

It's important to balance structured activities such as youth sports with family activities, says the parenting group, KidsHealth.

According to its Web site, kidshealth.org, time still should be set aside for family, such as playing a board game or just having supper at home. It also is important to make sure you are taking care of yourself and your relationship with your spouse.

Bernie Delinski can be reached at 740-5739 or bernie.delinski@timesdaily.com.

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