Knot, unknot, loop, unloop

I wish I could wear scarves. I mean, I wish I knew how to look really, really good when I wear scarves. Because I don't.

Usually when I wear a scarf I just look foolish - as if something's hanging around my neck by mistake or maybe leftover from yesterday's outfit.

That is not exactly the fashionable effect I'm going for. What I want is that same careless but chic, casual but elegant and simple but intricate scarf style I see on other women. How do they do it? And why can't I do it?

Scarves are "in" now, and I'm not talking about those silky squares of floral prettiness that we used to wear tucked primly under our collars, folded ladylike over our shoulders or tied around our necks like chokers.

I could deal with those scarves. Nothing scary there. Today's scarves, on the other hand, are long and rectangular works of fiber art, with textures and colors and yarns and patterns gone wild. They've got fringe and metallic threads and apparently require an attitude, a self-confidence or a something that I obviously do not have. Every time I admire someone's perfectly put-together outfit, turns out she's wearing a scarf.

Every time I see somebody stylish and I think, "Wow, I wish I looked like her," turns out she's wearing a scarf.

Any time somebody sees me and thinks "Did she dribble spaghetti down her blouse again?" turns out I'm wearing a scarf.

It's not the scarves. I know it's me. I've got some lovely scarves. My older daughter knits wonderfully and she's made me a couple beautiful scarves. I even knitted one myself - it truly is easy.

I've bought some gorgeous scarves. In fact, I can't stop buying gorgeous scarves because they're everywhere and they're on clearance and I'm hopeful I might come across the one that will magically transform me into a scarf wearer.

Because I promise I do try. I study magazine photos and Internet how-to's. I practice. I tie it this way and that way. I untie it. I let it loop on its own. I unloop it. I knot it. I unknot it.

It still just looks as if I wadded up some material, tied it with some string and then wore it to see if anybody else noticed. And if by some miracle it doesn't look half bad, it's only a matter of minutes before I'm getting hot and itchy or I've dunked the end of the scarf in my coffee cup and I've got to start all over.

I guess I'll add scarves to the lengthening list of things that look silly on me: Hats, brown pants and anything reminiscent of something worn to a high school in the 1970s, '80s or '90s. At least summer's on the way.

Cathy Wood is a freelance writer living in the Shoals. For more from her, visit TimesDaily.com.