Danger lurks in allergy aisle

I'm a meth addict. My mom's one, too.

At least, that's likely what the states of Alabama and Texas think of us, respectively.

With a swipe of our driver's licenses, we each have been flagged by a pharmacy's narc computer, which told the assistant that we had recently sought from them that addictive white stuff - too recently. There are laws against that, you know. I was advised not to try another pharmacy because that might flag "authorities" of my mischievous behavior.

Great. I need to be on a list of potential-meth addicts with the state government. They need to know that I crave - require - pseudoephedrine to get me through my days and nights.

Why pseudoephedrine? It's the main ingredient in sinus and allergy medicines, such as Zyrtec-D, and it's that ingredient that addicts extract to make the drug methamphetamine.

Oh, Zyrtec-D, you fickle temptress. You help drive away my sinus headaches, but you bring on a new one when I'm turned away from the pharmacy counter empty-handed. What should I do now - deal with pollen cold turkey?

I told my mother of how I'd been flagged twice in the past month for buying too many meth ingredients, and she swore that Texas wasn't as strict. I was there recently, so we went to the pharmacy so she could serve as my supplier.

Wrong! She had recently bought Claritin-D for herself, and she was rejected.

The Carlson Meth Conspiracy has crossed state lines. I'm pretty sure the Department of Homeland Security is involved. And the NSA. And Google.

Alabama's laws are being updated Oct. 1, however. According to Alabama Code, Title 20 - Food, Drugs and Cosmetics, Chapter 2 - Controlled Substances, Section 20-2-190: "On or after Oct. 1, 2009, no product containing ephedrine or pseudoephedrine shall be sold in this state unless the product is manufactured in such a manner that the ephedrine or pseudoephedrine cannot be extracted so as to be used as an ingredient in the production of methamphetamine."

Shouldn't that mean that us pale, sickly kids can buy our medicines in peace? Nope. And the meth addicts? Well, they'll just have to get more creative - but that shouldn't be too hard, judging by this paper's Law & Order briefs.

We also will still have to "sign a special electronic or paper register, which shall be maintained as a record of such a sale." A copy of it has to be kept by the retailer for at least 180 days.

That puts me into next year before my record even appears clean again!

I guess I'll be living out the rest of 2009 on the edge. My mom will be so proud.

Sarah Carlson is a media desk editor. For more from her, visit TimesDaily.com.