Adventures in motoring, English style

Some folks have used the word "notorious" to describe me. Unfortunately, that word hasn't been used to describe anything worthwhile like being a notorious author, notorious medical researcher, notorious athlete or notorious leader.

But some - those who know me best perhaps - say I'm a notorious driver.

That can be taken one of two ways, but I choose to see the positive in most

situations.

For instance, my driving record is good - at least for the most part. OK, there was the accident back in March but it was clearly not my fault. A guy pulled out of a side street and slammed the car I was driving, totaling it in the process. Otherwise, the record is accident-free.

Some say the notorious driving reputation comes from the ability to get to places quicker than most. I usually know the quickest routes and have pretty good instincts about how to avoid those who insist on clogging up traffic by driving in the left lane.

And if I had a dime for every wreck I've avoided, the grandchildren would have no worries about their college education. You can add to the resume that a few friends have asked me to teach their children how to drive. Now, what parent would ask a bad driver to teach their own child to drive?

I say all that to bring up a recent trip to England and Ireland. You probably know this already, but for some reason those guys drive on the wrong side of the road.

It's curious why they think everyone is wrong and they're the only ones who are right when it comes to deciding which side of the road to drive. The majority of Europe and most other countries seem to realize that we Americans do it right.

I couldn't resist the temptations to roll up my sleeves and give their way a shot, though. We rented a car, gave Sharon a tranquilizer and waded out there.

It tests your skills, but really it takes 15 or 20 minutes to get adjusted to driving on the wrong side of the road. You just have to remember everything is reversed from the way you drive. I never turned into oncoming traffic and never delayed traffic flow by being confused or directional challenged. Overall, it was a good experience and all of us - car included - survived.

Motorists in Ireland and England have some things going for them, though. It could be very helpful to a lot of drivers here.

The slow drivers actually stay in the lane they're supposed to use. I never saw a driver talking on a cell phone, eating a sandwich or putting on makeup. They seemed to pay attention to driving. Imagine that concept; it's something we all should learn.

Mike Goens can be reached at 740-5740.