They can be entertaining to watch at times, but I’m not sure how poker became a sport. I hope it doesn’t set a precedent, because I can just envision what this could lead to:
“Next on ESPN, the national championship of slot machines, featuring the returning champion, Buddy ‘Rotator Cuff Surgery’ Milligan.”
But back to poker.
I’ve heard a major key to the game is the ability to have an expressionless “poker face” so you don’t tip off your opponents about what kind of hand you have.
For me, though, it’s a little more basic, such as learning to be a better poker dealer.
You know how in five-card draw, when you get your hand you’re allowed to ask the dealer to trade in some cards? Well I’ve come to learn that, apparently, it’s frowned up for the dealer to respond “go fish.”
However, when it comes to having a poker face, there is something that has always irritated me when I watch a tournament on TV: that players are allowed to wear sunglasses so you can’t see their eyes, thus eliminating a major battle in the war of poker faces.
And now something has come along to diminish poker faces even more, thanks to a New York physician. According to various reports, that doctor is taking Botox to a new level: Pokertox.
Yep, he can minimize those “tells,” which are unconscious facial expressions that can ruin a good poker face. As the doctor said in The Huffington Post: “Some people might get a card they like or don’t like and raise their eyebrows. If that’s the common reaction, we can put Botox in certain areas to minimize them.”
The doctor also has taken poker strategy into consideration, the article states. “We can also put Botox in areas to make it look like the player has a ‘tell’ they really don’t have,” he said.
I can just envision the controversy, as professional players start getting tested for Pokertox the way athletes get tested for steroids.
It could lead to a congressional hearing. Congressman: Is it true you have been using face-enhancement drugs?
Player: No, sir. I’m shocked you would accuse me of that. In fact, just look at my shocked expression.
Congressman: Well you do look shocked, but then again you seem to always look shocked, what with your face seemingly frozen in the “bug-eye” look.
Player: I’m insulted by this allegation. By the way, could someone get me some Visine? I haven’t been able to blink in weeks.