Bernie Delinski

It's one of my favorite times of the year!

Yep, I'm talking about "The Running of the Bulls" season!

In case you're not familiar with this annual Pamplona, Spain, event, it involves people voluntarily getting chased by bulls, and for some reason it gets a great deal of volunteers.

I can envision other stupidly dangerous offshoots to this tradition in the future. My suggestions include, "The Bathing with the Jellyfish," "The Taking of Food from the Lions," "The Groin-Kicking of the Bears," and that particularly cannibalistic feat, "The Silence of the Lambs."

Granted, every campaign season we Americans endure "The Running of the Mouths," and it actually does tend to involve a lot of bull.

Anyway, I don't know who thought of "The Running of the Bulls," but I would imagine that being one tough sell for a travel agent.

In fact, I imagine an agent's conversation with a client going something like this:

Agent: "So you're seeking somewhere unique for this vacation, huh?"

Client: "I sure am."

Agent: "I hear Spain is nice this time of year."

Client: "Oh, that does sound intriguing."

Agent: "You know what's a popular vacationing trend these days: combining vacation with physical, emotional and mental stimulation."

Client: "Actually, that sounds like it would be quite invigorating."

Agent: "I see. How about if that involved some running ..."

Client: "Sure."

Agent: "... for your life?"

Client: "What?

Agent: "Let me put it another way. How would you feel about getting chased by a 2,000-pound stampeding animal?"

Client: "What? That sounds crazy!"

Agent: "Crazy fun — am I right?"

Client: "No!"

Agent: "Hold on, now. I haven't told you about the best part: You might get gored!"

Client: "How is that the best part?"

Agent: "Just imagine the permanent scar that would produce. Why, you'd be the life of every party as you lift up the back of your shirt to reveal that massive wound."

Client: "How would I do that when I'm dead?"

Agent: "You're a real glass-half-empty type person, aren't you?"

Client: "No, I'm more of a don't-want-to-get-gored-to-death type person."

Agent: "Oh, now, most people don't get gored."

Client: "They don't?"

Agent: "No. Many fall and end up trampled by the bulls and fellow runners."

Client: "What in the world is the upside to doing this?"

Agent: "Simple: imagine the thrill of running in fear?"

Client: "I think I'll do that."

Agent: "Really? You're running with the bulls?"

Client: "Nope. I'm running out of your office. Bye!"

Agent: "Drat! Foiled again by the 'The Running of the Client.'"

bernie.delinski@timesdaily.com or 256-740-5739. Twitter @TD_BDelinski

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