Colorado officials apparently have decided to let sleeping boulders lie.

According to an Associated Press report, a house-size rock fell along a Colorado road during Memorial Day weekend.

It weighs 8.5 million pounds and the cost of removal and cleanup would total $1.3 million, the report states.

So, authorities decided to keep it there. They're even thinking of making it a tourist attraction. As much as I like the ol' "make lemonade out of lemons" notion, that would be one tough tourist guide job.

I imagine it going something like this:

Guide: "Welcome to the Memorial Rock."

Visitor: "Memorial Rock? How touching, it's a memorial to someone."

Guide: "Well, no, we just call it that because it fell during Memorial Day weekend."

Visitor: "Oh."

(awkward silence)

Guide: "But ... um ... there's a great story about this rock."

Visitor: "OK, good. What is it?"

Guide: "It fell during Memorial Day weekend and ... come to think of it, that's all."

Visitor (now in sarcastic mode): "Riveting."

Guide: "Wait, there's more. Officials decided not to move it because it would cost a lot ... sssooooo ... here it is."

Visitor (sarcastic mode still engaged): "Please, no more. My heart can't take it."

Guide: "Wait, there's a lot of history connected to this rock."

Visitor: OK, now we're talking. What happened?"

Guide: "Well, it fell during Memorial Day weekend ... and ... that's it."

Visitor: "At least make up a legend. Maybe Wile E. Coyote tried to make some elaborate catapult and fasten the boulder to it in an attempt to catch the Road Runner, only to have the boulder fall off it onto him, and the Coyote remains entombed beneath it to this day."

Guide: "I feel like nobody would believe that. Not to mention the copyright infringement."

Visitor: "It's a shame that it happened in Colorado but not the city of Boulder. That would have at least provided an ironic touch."

Guide: "Yep. So, anyway, that concludes the boulder tour. That'll be $20."

Visitor: "Twenty bucks?!"

Guide: "Hey, it's a big rock. You can't find something like that in any other state."

Visitor: "You literally can find something like that in every other state."

Guide: "Remember to visit our gift shop. It includes a small replica of the Memorial Rock."

Visitor: "That would be a pebble."

Guide: "OK, you win. I actually hate this job. I feel like it's a jail sentence."

Visitor: "That's it! You can make it an Elvis museum!"

Guide: "What do you mean?"

Visitor: "The Jailhouse Rock!" or 256-740-5739. Twitter @TD_BDelinski


(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.