When the Montgomery Biscuits minor league baseball team announced its nickname, I thought it was an embarrassing mistake.
I was sorely wrong. That name has grown on me and become popular with the fans. Today, it's one of my favorite nicknames, and has turned out to be a sheer marketing genius.
So it seemed Montgomery would permanently claim ownership to the most head-turning nickname in the state of Alabama.
Notice I said "seemed."
That's because Huntsville has come along recently with a name that certainly has gained attention — the Rocket City Trash Pandas.
This time, I'll refrain from saying that's an embarrassing mistake. Instead, I'll grit and bear it. And then, hopefully, get used to it. And then actually like it.
I really, really hope.
If you're wondering how they arrived at Trash Pandas, I have a theory: They opened a dictionary and randomly placed their finger on a word, then did it again, and the words were trash and panda and the rest is history.
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "So do we get to dunk this guy again or what?"
Sorry, that was last week. You had your chance.
But I know what else you're thinking. You're thinking, "Seriously, though, what in the world is a trash panda?"
I, too, wondered that. So I employed my extensive journalistic training to engage in some extensive research.
I Googled it.
As it turns out, a trash panda is a raccoon.
You know, as in that thing that I guess somehow looks somewhat like a panda and likes to get in your trash.
Hence, trash panda.
So, according to the nicknames of the two teams mentioned, if you ever see a raccoon getting into someone's trash and finding a biscuit, you have just witnessed a summary of minor league baseball in Alabama. And as a proud Alabamian, I must admit that that probably would be one of the cutest things you'd ever see.
I mean, raccoons are pretty cute, and the notion of them getting into the trash and pulling out a biscuit is precious — wait a minute! Am I growing to like the name already?
What is happening to me? Medic!
OK, so I'm growing to like it. But I'm not getting too emotionally attached.
That's because I'm still holding out for my dream of the Shoals getting a minor league team.
Hey, I said I could dream!
And when that day comes, the Biscuits and Trash Pandas will have to step aside in the awesome-name world.
That's because there will be a new sheriff in town.
And I look forward to rushing to the stores and being one of the first people to purchase a jersey bearing that perfect name:
The Shoals Swampers.